... that the brain insists on churning on all the bad stuff in the middle of the night? I was sleeping so well, too. At least until the 2am wrong phone number went off next to the bed.God does that sometimes, though.
I spent the next hour and a half listening to Bible mp3 files... hoping for comfort and distraction from my thoughts. The first hitch came when I discovered that my Old Testament files were incomplete. [Gotta restore the originals to get the complete set back together.] Then, what I ended up choosing (1, 2, 3 John), only brought up more questions.
Am I doing what God wants me to do? What is it that I'm supposed to be doing differently? I've tried to work hard on my studies. I've tried to get more work done at the church. I've tried to help my family... Yet, we are failing.
Does God want us to fail in order to teach us something (or teach someone else something)? Will He choose to rescue us at the last second that His glory might be praised? [It should be praised under any circumstance.] Is this yet another faith-stretching exercise... for me. God showing me that my faith in Him is weak and needs to be strengthened? [Probably.]
There are some unpleasant challenges & decisions ahead as my unemployment benefits run out with this next claim, and our savings is... dwindling. ...and we seem to be heading into an early winter. I've been told that once the funds are exhausted, I will be given the opportunity to apply for an extension, but who knows the gap-time... if it is authorized.
So far, God has not shown us much concerning Mr. Squirrel's job options. That alone is frightening and disheartening and discouraging. It makes me want to cry.
Mr. Squirrel's only job opportunity (with possible income attached) that has appeared in the last 7 months is on the schedule for October 10th. He has been invited to preach at a church in another small town. If they like him, he may be invited to preach again. It could lead to steady work. Maybe.
So many questions. So much doubt. What to do?
I've heard that if you haven't heard from God in a while, you go back and keep doing the last thing He told you to do. So, I guess I'd better get back to my studies. [Keep on keeping on.] The sooner I complete the course, the sooner maybe I can get a paying job again... Lord willing.
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God bless & Godspeed.
2 comments:
These are hard times!
Kerry got a project, meaning about a month's worth of work.
But also applied for a 12 hour/wk job for which he's VASTLY overqualified (and would've been vastly underpaid...) and didn't even get a second interview.
We're praying,
Julie
I've been praying for your family, too. Hugs!
I'm glad that your hubby has at least a little something to work with.
Yeah, being overqualified can be a bigger knock against you than underqualified... so strange. I'm convinced that is one of the reasons I lost my job (even though they said they were automating my job out of existence). I'd been there long enough that my 25-cent raises finally added up to something they didn't want to pay anymore. And (stupidly), they would rather pay two untrained people than pay one person who is already trained.
So insane...
Hang in there! God has a plan for all of us... I'm also praying that He will make it a bit more obvious what that plan might be. It sure would make the waiting easier. ;)
Hugs!
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