It's like being in High School again...

[Original post: 5/31/09: 6:10pm.]

It amazes me. How did I never realize it? How (or why) do people (who should be adults) choose to revel in the the petty, backstabbing mentalities of high school? Yes, I realize this is a fallen world, but… Wow.

The workman's comp saga proceeds with turns and a couple of twists. Continuing the chronology from the last post (i.e. doctor’s letter through a workman’s comp accident report – remember, not my idea), I had scheduled to take off a few extra days to make the Memorial weekend a good long 5-day weekend... at home. [My last safe refuge. I almost want to keep a messy house so we won't get visitors! How sad!]

Aside from the 70 minute phone interview with the workman’s comp lady on Friday afternoon, the weekend was WONDERFUL. Hubby and I were able to get a lot of work done on the property (burning branch piles and cleaning up blown down trees (though there is still a lot of work left to do). We were even able to take off a day or two to rest and relax. [It's been so long, I'd forgotten what those words meant.]

When I got back to work on Tuesday the 26th, I had a strength that I’ve not felt in months. Friends mentioned that I looked like I was feeling better. I had better color and better stature. Being fragrance-free for 5 days allowed my body to regain stability and heal to a greater degree than it could do so on a normal 2-day weekend. I was telling people that my weekend was "better than therapy!"

That same day, while I was away on my lunch break - go figure - the water cooler was shifted about 10-feet farther away from my work area. [As yet I have not determined if the air patterns will show this to be an advantage or not. If the fragranced people still insist on chatting with "The Caretaker of the cooler", the move will have made no difference at all.]

I personally found out about the move via the not-so-subtle grumbling and sideways looks & whispers that inundated the work area (for the next four days). The office population also increased as the word got out and the patrons just had to "come see" and make their displeasure known.

Communications from the front office also came to me that the move had been made with indications that they believed that the physical relocation of the cooler should solve all my problems. I had to be very careful in my phrasing to let them know that I was made aware (mostly by the hostile grumbling) and to express my hope that it would reduce my exposures. Of course, this spurred a long confused reply that made me think I was writing in Greek... or perhaps Sanskrit. Yikes! I even expressed in my own reply that I believed that I had been very clear and how I could not understand where the confusion was coming from. My reply was more rational than I felt like being with a request to let me know if I was in any way still being unclear… and if it was, to be very specific so that I could address whatever it was very specifically. Unbelievable!

Meanwhile the petty vindictive high-school mentality runs amuck. The cooler was moved so obviously people can wear more fragrance and camp longer at The Caretaker’s desk. Furthermore, because the cooler is no longer immediately next to the Caretaker, she can loudly announce to the cooler visitors: "So good of you to come visit me! Come back anytime!"

The blessing in all of this is that the move may have actually put the machine slightly out of the main air currents that seem to eddy in my work area. I have noticed improvements while I sit at my desk. [Although I need to hold my breath to use the staircase if anyone is at the cooler or has recently left there.] However, I can deal with that. I do the same thing when I have to go into the clock-room or through the lunchroom.

Only time will tell, though. If all this works, and I am able to have a reduction in my exposures to people’s fragrances, then I should be able to better recover from those exposures that I must endure. I think of it like a bruise. If you keep hitting that same spot over and over, the sensitivity just grows and grows, so that it takes less force to make it hurt more. However, if you can protect the wound for a while, it can better withstand a follow-up hit with fewer of the effects.

[Sigh] I have no idea how long and far-reaching this mess will be. The workman’s comp research continues (doctors lists and medical/medication records) as does the animosity of former “friends”. It is my hope that in time, people will ‘relax’ into something resembling a normal pattern. Patterns allow for predictability. Predictability allows for planning & coping skills to be used - God willing.

The most disheartening thing to have to admit: My office is not the only place where I once considered it to be a 'safe' place. [Without details, that is one of the reasons why I'm often "the troll in the basement" when I stay at MIL's place.] I suppose if I have to deal with "high-school mentality" at the office, I should not be surprised when I have to deal with it everywhere else, too. Go figure.
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Godspeed & God bless
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UPDATE 6/22/09 (2pm):

I'm on my lunch break (and actually not using a company machine to make this update). I wanted to share a discovery: I think that I've suddenly figured out that the high-school people work at the Workman's Comp office, too. Sheesh! I hate it when people get mad at you for accidentally finding out that they weren't doing their job. Yikes! She's going to be SO GLAD when she never has to talk to me again... and I think I'll be glad, too, frankly.

On the side of 'anything new' happening: I don't know if it's progress or not, but motions are being made towards doing some sort of 'air testing' at the office. [Do fragrances pick up on air quality tests?] I don't know the who, or the when, but if it's like the last few weeks... I'm expecting the meat-grinder to continue chewing on me for a while.

In addition to the desire to watch "Victory" again, I think I need stronger armor (mental or otherwise)... It's getting more and more tempting to believe that all this animosity is personal.

Gotta go back to work. See ya!
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