Taking a moment to be still...

In the silence of a cold winter morning, thinking about things that need to be done, sometimes my mind will wander to questions: Why am I doing all of this? What does my life mean? Why am I here?

Dangerous questions depending on your state of mind and emotional stability. I'm somewhere in the middle, I guess. I find this time of year to be incredibly depressing with the greed and commercialism, the selfishness and the ingratitude that I see nearly every day. [Not to mention the lack of sunlight.] It often makes me look at myself and I'm not very kind. I see failures, I see poverty, I see my own greed and selfishness... I find it to be ugly and depressing.

I must admit that it takes a bit of a wrench to get my vision turned from inside... to outside - to see the blessings in my life and the "it's not so bad as I might think" perspectives. I look back at Christmas-Past and I can admit, yeah - I like the presents, too, and there is nothing wrong with that. But it was always the sharing that lifted my spirit in a way that lasted past the holidays - sharing food, sharing funny stories & the laughter, sharing "just being" together. And it didn't mean you had to be 'blood-related' only. There are very few memories of a Christmas (or a Thanksgiving) without at least one friend or neighbor joining us because they found themselves alone. We never thought twice about inviting them. The last few years, we have even opted to not do presents in favor of just getting together. [With the few exceptions of "this just screamed your name and I had to get it for you".]

Underneath all the glitter and lights (which I enjoy very much - if tastefully done), there are things in the heart & soul that mean so much more. Those things you can't buy in a store. Those things that typically give you more back when they are given. There is no doubt, it is VERY difficult to see past all the "seasonal insanity" and all of the harsh in-your-face circumstances that we all face in one form or another.

When looking inside or outside of myself, I sometimes have the most difficulty remembering to 'look up'. There is where I will always find the answer to my questions. There is where I find the reason for my life, my circumstances and my future. The greatest gift of all times. From cradle - to cross - to grave - to the right hand of God.

Merry Christmas & His Grace be upon you all.

[photo source: StephanieShott.com 11/29/2009 ]