It's 4am. I'm sitting in the bathroom with a towel over my shoulders to keep me warm. I've been awake since 12:30 and almost got back to sleep when something fell or the step-daughter came in at 1am-ish. By 1:30 I started relaxation techniques and by 2:30 plugged in a book. By 3:30 the tears started and have not quite abated.
I'm so depressed and I'm so tired of it all. I can't help but ask: Why me? Why can't I take 6 1/2 months off to deal with my own depression? Why can't I take time off to find chat friends to spend my days with? It sure would be a nicer way to spend my days than to be in a workplace that has become a stress generator greater than that of scratching by on a single income. My migraines are getting worse because there is no relief from the stress, which makes me more sensitive to the fragrances - yadda, yadda - never ending spiral downwards.
I'm so tired of fighting these battles on my own. I am out of ways to motivate, to encourage, to plea for help. I can't do this on my own! What steps to I need to take to be heard? What steps do I need to take to ... take care of me (because it's pretty obvious that no-one else is going to do it for me)?
Sorry for the vent. My work alarm will be going off in less than 45 minutes... if I'm not actually ready to go by then. The earlier I go to work, the more work I can get done before the fragranced people show up... and the earlier I can get off work on Friday because I'll get off at the same time I always do... unless I leave early.
Time to soldier on... for what it's worth.
About Me
- Mrs. Squirrel
- Pastor's wife, step-mom, and self-employed medical transcriptionist. I find myself scrambling like a squirrel trying to "get it all done" while trying to cope with the many challenges of life. [I think it is safe to say that we do live in “interesting times”.] I am grateful for my Bible-believing faith and simple past-times (i.e. sanity-savers). Before I got married, I completed a Master's Degree in Archaeology. I also had two wonderful opportunities to travel overseas with family (on tours). I confess a romantic and action-loving heart with a great fondness for movies (both in front of and behind the screens). I'm particularly fond of swashbuckling movies and monster movies (new or old, as long as they aren't too slimy). In more ways than I care to admit, my whole life is a squirrel's nest - kind of messy, but there are occasionally safe places to hide.
1 comment:
Oh friend, one day at a time.
Sorry things are so hard.
Praying for you,
Julie
Post a Comment